Self validation - Knock it off!

Have you ever had dinner with someone who constantly drones on about themselves? The answer for most people is a thunderous "YES". Have you ever bore witness to a man or woman persistently talk about their new, for example, Sub Mariner Rolex Watch or Louis Vuitton purse? Again, for some people in the first world, a deafening "YES" from the audience. Have you ever asked yourself "this bitch only makes $45,000 a year yet, she's leasing a new BMW? How much credit card debt is he or she in? Is the husband or wife loaded? Who's bringing home the bacon here? Perhaps they have a side business that I'm not considering? What can we unearth about this person's finances that allows them to live this luxurious lifestyle?". Have you ever had a religious fellow bestow platitudes on you such as, " you NEED to stop doing the devil's work and come towards the light?" -- hopefully not and if you have, next time that happens quickly throw a ninja-like, impact smoke bomb and vanish into the shadows before they have you singing religious rock tunes at the "Thursday Night Youth Group". Trust me, it can happen. No fun. But I digress...... Have you ever been on the other side of the dinner table wondering when is this person going to ask YOU about YOUR recent sport, hobby or job? "When are they going to STOP talking about themselves and turn the conversation onto more important subjects.... Like ME!".

 I'll give you a piece of advice, once you start down this rabbit hole, viciously rip yourself out of that thought process. As counterintuitive as this sounds, while the second party is indeed self validating by what we call "showing off" their material ownership, you, yourself are also internally, subconsciously self validating your own finances and lifestyle choices. Before you know it, your monkey brain will act on impulse and begin the "one up" battle of self righteousness. 

Self validation can be deadly.

For example, cocaine addicts need to convince themselves that a very deadly lifestyle is something that "helps" or "works for" them.

At a certain point, cocaine usage ceases to be a voluntary action: this is the onset of addiction. The positive reinforcement of the sensation of euphoria eventually alters the brain so that the use of cocaine is obligatory.
— http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1704

You can start to see why cocaine and self validation go hand in hand. As the person becomes an addict, the constant need for a euphoric state of mind is obligatory. Whether that be gambling away their mortgage payment, or impulsively buying that new purse that they can't afford. It all comes down to releasing that hit of dopamine in the brain.  

So the moral of the story kids, is. Stop. Stop trying to one up each other at the dinner party, stop with the rivalries on the playing field and at work. Drop the egomaniacal, myopic thoughts and for pete's sake stop with the self validation